Things That Make Me Angry: Voss and other hole in the wall eateries

A fellow blogger named Thomas Galvin who is well known around here for his “Things That Make Me Angry” series recently broke away from his typical diatribe to do a positive piece thus unbalancing the cosmic world. I thought I would bring balance and write Things That Make Me Angry About Voss.

You ask, “What is Voss?” Every town in America has one. It is the mythical and mystical hole in the wall where every summer, lines begin to form and people from all over town come and eat. Generations upon generations have come to eat here and it is a rite of passage. Rain or shine the lines still form. These places don’t open in the winter; they are just open in the summer. But when they unshutter their ordering windows and their flickering sign begins to glow, people begin to swarm. It just like the blue light of a bug zapper- people are drawn to it. These places often have no air conditioning, and the walls and floors of these establishments have the patina of old grease. Voss is one of these places and it makes me angry.

1. The lines make me angry. They start forming at 10 AM, and the wait to order is typically 45 min outside on black asphalt.
2. Waiting 10 mins for the food to be actually made makes me angry. Once you have waited for 45 min, then you order and it takes another 10 mins to get your order. If you have ever looked in the back, there is no assembly line.
3. People that walk up to the window and still do not know what to order make me angry. You have been standing here for 45 min. You could have made a decision before you got to the window.  By the way the menu has been the same for over 50 years.
4. The lady at the window taking the order adds things up on a pad instead of on the cash register machine that is right next to her pad. That makes me angry.
5. The stupid toy letters and numbers they use make me angry. How about using a sequential order number sequence like every other fast food restaurant instead of calling out “A” and then “2″. Oh, and they always want their numbers and letters back before they give you the order.
6. The fact that there is only one lady at the window taking your order makes me angry. You have 2 other windows. There are people without jobs in America. Hire two more window people who do the math on a pad instead of the cash register.
7. Being bit by the swarms of bees that hang around Voss makes me angry.
8. Not having a drive-thru makes me angry.
9. When a group of people shows up together and they make one person wait in line to give the order and the rest of the group goes and sits at a table for 45 min without eating. That makes me angry. Meanwhile, people who have gotten their orders can’t sit down because the group is claiming their table. You should only sit down if your group has ordered and gotten a toy letter or number.
10. People that go back to their car and sit in the air conditioning and don’t hear their toy number or letter being called- that makes me angry. That messes up the people in the back. They don’t move forward until the order is picked up.

The only reason I go is because my wife loves going there. She thinks it’s quaint and loves the crunchy grease of the fried buns. She is the best thing in my life and her hotness is worth the aggravation that I feel while waiting on line.