I am writing this post reflecting on the fact that I am now the father of two teenagers. I am not just any father, but a former youth pastor. The reason I am writing is because I was recently in a circumstance where I caught myself being “that parent”. You are probably asking what I mean about “that parent”. Let me explain. When I was a youth pastor, most of the parents of the young people I pastored were wonderful, but there were a few parents who were well intentioned but a bit challenging. At the time I told myself I would never be “that parent”, but now that I am the parent of teens I have realized that the pull to be “that parent” is strong. So I post this not as judgment (because I am finding myself there) but just a reminder to myself not to be “that parent.”
The Gossip Girl Parent
The parent that knows everything going on with every kid in the youth group: who is going out with whom, who held hands, who is listening to secular music, who has a hickey… This parent should be the Google of youth group gossip. Although you may be tempted to enlist this parent’s help to know what is going in the youth group, proceed with caution.
The Judge Judy Parent.
This parent is the parent that makes quarterly appointments with the youth pastor to inquire about what is being done about the rampant sin in the youth group.
The Charles in Charge Parent.
The parent that expects the youth pastor to parent their child.
The Miss Daisy Parent.
The parent that expects the youth pastor be your child’s personal car service.
The Ministry Parent
There are stage parents and sports parents. Well there are also ministry parents. These parents have unfulfilled ministry aspirations and are trying to live vicariously through their child’s ministry. They bear an uncanny resemblance to Joe Simpson. To them I say, “Stop ministry pimping your child.”
The Wimpy Parent
“I will pay you next Wednesday for a hamburger today”. The parent does not give any money to their child, so when we go out I end up buying the $10 coke. Which means that I buy a coke for a $1, and your child buys a $9 meal and I have to pay for it. I try to be generous but you know I’m a youth pastor, which means I make less than a 13 year old on a newspaper route. I have applied to FEMA for a bail out.
The Wardrobe Malfunction Parent.
This is the parent that is totally oblivious to how your child dresses. Give your child a once over before they leave the house. Yes, we should be fashionable, but your children should not be dressed exposing themselves. Pull it up, pull it down, cover it up, button it up, tell them to change!
What are some types of parents that you have encountered in your youth/student ministry? Please add to my list so that I will not be “that parent”.
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Brilliant.
I recently heard that 90% of churched youth end up leaving the church by the time they’re 20yrs old. It was suggested we type in “youth ministry” in Google to see how widespread youth ministry is. The fact that youth ministers are bending over backwards for the youth of the church (and youth ministry is so widespread) and 90% of the youth are leaving, makes one wonder if youth ministry even works at all. But it wasn’t a bash against youth ministries. It was really a call to the parents to wake up! They have more influence over the children than any youth ministry will ever have. Instead of labeling parents as “that parent,” maybe it’d be better to start a parent ministry.
i laughed, i cried, it was better than CATS chico.
What about the Home School Parent who thinks all the other kids in the group are corrupting their little “precious”. Then when you have a function these home school kids are the ones who know the latest songs, jokes, and sayings…..
So true.
Chico – as a former High School cheerleading coach, I had my share of parents over a 12 year span. I have had a few listed here and then some. Here’s one to add to the list – Helicopter Parent – do not hover over your kids!!
Kelly,
That is so funny. I will have to include that in.
What about the Pretzel Parent? The parent who takes what you said and twists it like a pretzel into something else and the next thing you know your phone is blowing up at 11pm.
Steve,
That is hilarious. Pretzel Parent.
There should be Youth Ministry workshop called “Why do offended parents like to call at 11:00 PM?”
thats so funny no one is ever offended during office hours…. so funny. its so common that i never paused to ask WHY
I have learned to look at the phone but not answer it at 11:00 PM unless it is my pastor or one of my adult workers calling.